The Tea Party Gospel

CHRISTIAN_RIGHT

I don’t know about you, but I have a big problem with the Tea Party in the United States. I know it’s not actually a party any more but its former members have become so outspoken in the Republican Party that is painful to watch and listen to. They claim to love God and Jesus but they don’t seem to act that way. They seem to use the Bible for their own benefit. (getting elected) So I took some of the Bible and wrote what they seem to be really saying.

  • When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his Tea Party disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say Bill O’Reilly; others say Rush Limbaugh; and still others, Rick Perry or one of the presidential hopefuls.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Michele Bachman answered, “You’re the one we use to get votes.” Matthew 16:13-16
  • Guns are our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
    Ps 46:1
  • For God so loved the United States that whosoever believes in him shall have political and military power over the world. John 3:16
  • And Jesus said, “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me, so just ignore them and take care of only the members of your church. Matthew26:11
  • In, 4004 B. C., God created the heavens and the Earth and the dinosaurs roamed with them. Genesis 1:1
  • Let the children come unto me and then send them back to where they came from before they contaminate the chosen people. Matthew 19:14
  • For there is neither Republican nor rich, nor fundamentalist nor NRA member nor straight people no matter how many times you’ve been divorced, for you are the only ones that matter in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28
  • God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number make sure no matter what no one can have an abortion even if it kills them; fill the earth and subdue it. Drill holes, refracting the earth, drain the oil, destroy the forest, kill the animals and pollute all you want cause the earths gonna burn someday anyway. Genesis 1:28
  • For it is by my church attendance that you are saved and that not of yourselves but it is the gift of tithes to the RNC, not of grace, so everyone can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
  • If I speak in the tongues of non English or of anyone outside The USA I will burn in hell because American English is the language of God. 1 Corinthians 13:1
  • “Tea is the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the father except through Tea.” John 14:6
  • Let every person be subject to the governing authorities unless they are Democrat, then impeach them. For there is no authority except from our idea of God, and those that exist have been instituted by our God or are the anti-Christ.   Romans 13:1
  • “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. And after you were born I turned away and did nothing for you cause we only care if you’re unborn” Jeremiah 1:5
  • Render unto Caesar, Nothing and unto God, Nothing.  Mark 12:17

So how does the Tea Party look to you?

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